Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
