Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize