i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
