didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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