Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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