Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
