If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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