we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
