I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
