So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
