u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
now i know why i became what i already was.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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