he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize