I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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