Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
