She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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