she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
