OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize