Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize