You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
that may or may not have been my penis.
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