I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
wow bdsm is so cute
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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