If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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