You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
