oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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