Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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