I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize