She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
try to milk me bitch
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