buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize