Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
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I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
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So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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