ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
