xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
