We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
