Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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