When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
