In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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