Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
