wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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