its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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