I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
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the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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