I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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