The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
