id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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