This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
