omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
