I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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