I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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