I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
