We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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