What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
