They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize