i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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