I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
