he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize