I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
