What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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