Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
