Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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