haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
