this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.