Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?