Whod you bang
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?