yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
